So last Thursday evening we took the plunge and moved Beauty’s into her own room and dropping the 3 am feeding. And the first night was fairly rough, because she didn’t like it one bit. (Can’t say I blame her.) But I lay in bed and listened to her cry at 3 am, and Hero cuddled me and stroked my hair, and after 8 minutes and thirty seconds she went back to sleep. When she cried again at five thirty Hero brought her in to nurse on me, and then I decided it was too early to keep her sleeping with us and moved back to the nursery, where she slept until eight.
And Friday night she went to sleep at eleven, nursed again at midnight, and didn’t make a peep until after eight. I was blown away.
She proceeded to not nap AT ALL on Saturday, except for a catnap here and there, but such is life. And Saturday and Sunday nights weren’t quite as smooth, but she’s only crying for a couple of minutes at a time and I’m sleeping pretty well and life is good.
The whole thing rather made me think about parenting styles in general, especially because of some of the responses I got when telling others about all this. One lady in our synagogue looked at me and said “Oh yeah, after they weigh ten pounds they don’t need anything at night. I just put mine in the nursery after that.” (Ten pounds would be around two months for average babies.) And my mother-in-law is clearly being very gracious about letting me risk spoiling her only grandchild, for which I am very grateful.
But as I was saying, there seems to be two main parenting styles when it comes to early milestones such as sleep training and potty training. Some parents being training/transitioning at the very soonest possible instant, if not sooner, and after several weeks of concerted effort they have a transitioned child. Other parents wait until the child is fully ready, if not past ready, and then have a quicker transition.
I’m firmly in the latter category. Not because I think it’s better or safer or healthier, but because I just don’t have the discipline to make the several weeks of concerted effort happen. I never remembered to do baby signing, and if I did it was always when she was screaming and my main concern was to get her calm, not to make sure she was looking at my hands while I gestured at her. We tried EC (elimination communication) off and on, but again I just don’t have the type of constant detailed vigilance that would be necessary.
I’ve decided I’m okay with this. And I’m glad I know it, because I won’t frustrate myself by trying to potty-train her at the earliest possible moment. I’ll keep changing diapers and wait until she’s ready and probably use Alphamom’s potty training boot camp and be done in a few days. Hopefully.