You know what I don’t get?  People who over-decorate their children’s rooms.  Apparently it makes them happy, but I still don’t get it.

It starts with the perfectly manicured nursery, with designer furniture and matching linens (which will get various bodily fluids on them) and handmade chandeliers hanging about for no particular reason.  And I actually do agree that a nursery looking nice and making the mother happy is a good thing, since she’ll be spending so much time there, though I don’t see much point in spending tons of money on it.  On the other hand, few things stand up to the power of nesting hormones, so I’ll give them a pass on that one.  Whatever makes Mama happy.

And then they have toddlers.  And they write to craft sites asking for decor suggestions for their toddler’s room, saying he likes balloons and red things and she wants it to have a vintage feel.

A. Vintage. Feel.

Why would a toddler’s room be vintage?  What sorts of small children like vintage things?  How does she expect any of it to stay clean and intact?  Especially since “vintage” in the craft world seems to mean putting ruffly lace on everything.  And printing out vintage images which may or may not be interesting to small children.  It also means distressing all your furniture, which I suppose is a good look for a toddler’s room.  And parents do spend a decent amount of time in their toddler’s rooms, though I wouldn’t think the pictures on the walls would have much effect on them.

And then you get women who are doing all sorts of decorating and crafting for their teenage children’s rooms.  Knick-knacks on the shelves, carefully selected and spray-painted to match the color scheme.  Bulletin boards and jewelry organizers, decorated with scrapbook paper and ribbons.  A handmade wooden growth chart, lovingly hinged so they can take it to college.  (To college?!?!)  Throw pillows and seat covers and curtains handmade in coordinating fabrics.  All done entirely by the mother, without the child’s participation or (sometimes) input.

And then they complain that their children don’t take care of their stuff.  Of course they don’t.  You’re doing it for them.

I know, I’m being terribly judgmental and all.  These women are no doubt having a great deal of fun with their crafting – it’s not like I don’t understand the pleasure of a hands-on project.  But they do seem to get impractical, especially with regards to the expected reactions of the bedroom’s occupants.  If you’re doing it for your own pleasure, know that, and don’t let other reactions phase you.

My current plan (which will no doubt be thoroughly demolished, but let me enjoy the idea) is to craft with Beauty (and any other children I have.)  We’ll come up with ideas, and look online together for inspiration and instructions, and shop and work together, so that she can take some pride in what she’s made.  As she gets older she can do more on her own.  I suspect we’ll have far more fun working together.

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